“…that’s more than three bricks high. Don’t take that candy from the store if you ain’t got the dime. Don’t pick a fight with a little guy that don’t talk that much. Don’t pick up a cherrybomb thinkin’ it’s a dud. And don’t sneak out of a 2 story house usin’ bed sheets for a rope. Don’t ask me how I know…”
Don’t ask me how I know.
I dunno about you but for me that phrase conjures up SO many memories! Gleeful, mischievous, regretful and EVERYTHING in between. While I don’t have firsthand knowledge of anything in that Bobby Pinson lyric up there (GREAT song if you haven’t heard it. I just rediscovered it and can’t stop listening!) I’ve DEFINITELY got a list of my own going-
Pixie Stick hurts when you snort it
Your eyebrows are not gonna come out well when you’re waxing them during commercials while watching The Walking Dead
Hot pots and pans should NOT be put on a vinyl floor
Freezing someone’s name tag in a block of ice will never NOT be hilarious
Figuring out how to cheat on Weight Watchers is gonna bite you in the ass
Having a history of eating soap is an effective deterrent when your mom wants to wash your mouth out with it
Jumping off a super high tower into a lake is gonna give you the wedgie of a lifetime
I could go on and on. Seriously. And I didn’t even put any of the really regrettable stuff up there lest I bum you out!
But the thing I know most about is how precious your loved ones are.
Your friends, your family? There’s nothing more important in this world.
And you wanna know how I know this? Because I almost lost ’em all about seven years ago.
I’m not gonna go into all the gory details- I mean, I COULD but I’m gonna refrain right now- because those details aren’t what’s important. What’s important is that when you tell me there’s nothing in this world more important than your family and friends, I get it. I. GET. IT. When you tell me that there aren’t enough hours in the day for you to do everything on your list, I GET IT. When you’re in tears because you can’t take the fact that you spend all your damn time catching up on laundry instead of playing games with your kid, I GET IT. When you try to explain to me that you’re embarrassed to invite people to your house because it looks like it blew up, I. GET. IT.
And I actually give a shit about it too. See, I can HELP you. I can really, REALLY help you. My job title, even though I call myself a professional organizer, should really be “Getter-of-Shit-That-Don’t-Matter-Under-Control-So-You-Can-Spend-Time-on-the-Shit-That-Does”. Yep, I clean out closets and garages and junk drawers and attics. I organize paperwork and photos and can set you up with a kick ass system for dealing with your mail. But- BUT- what I also do is help you streamline processes that lead to maintaining your sanity. Leave me alone in your garage for a day and you’ll think you came home to the wrong house. Leave me alone in your garage for a day and you’re gonna have a plan for KEEPING it looking like you came home to the wrong house.
You’re on- board, right? Of course you are. I mean, no offense, I’m pretty awesome. In the words of Dizzy Dean (and Kid Rock if you throw in an expletive) “It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up.” The problem is the cost. I mean, I wish I could do this stuff for ya’ for free but a girl’s gotta eat. Oh, and the distance. Nashville is pretty far from most of you guys. Ew, and inviting a stranger into your home.
Here’s the thing- I’m working on a solution for all that. Hell, I’ve GOT a solution for all that. I’m just ironing out the details.
What I wanna know is, ARE YOU INTERESTED?
Would you wanna have One Organized Girl essentially at your virtual beck and call? Would you be willing to pay a one time fee in order to have OOG on speed dial (okay, speed TEXT is probably more like it!) whenever you needed her. Seriously, I. WANNA. KNOW. Leave me comments if you love the idea. Leave me comments if you effin’ HATE the idea. Leave me comments if you think I’ve lost my mind. I wanna hear your thoughts so I can tailor this new “service” (I snickered) as closely to what will rock your world as possible.