“…that’s under my bed.   Get along with the voices inside of my head.   You’re trying to save me, stop holding your breath.   And you think I’m crazy.  Yeah, you think I’m crazy…”

There are SO many things I could say about this lyric.  Holy smokes!

First of all, if you haven’t already heard this song, you TOTALLY need to listen to it.  It’s called “The Monster” and it’s on Eminem’s newest release MMLP2.  The ENTIRE album is FANTASTIC.  If you’re not easily offended. Well, even if you are or just honestly hate rap music I’m pretty sure you can still appreciate that the man is a genius.  Seriously talented.

Second of all, the imagery those simple words conjure?   Just flat out powerful.

Powerful because, whether we want to admit it or not, we’ve all got monsters under our bed.

We always have.

Remember when you were little and you really thought there was some living, breathing beast under your bed?  I mean, you were CONVINCED. There was NO. DOUBT.  You didn’t wanna dangle your legs over the side once the lights were our for fear it would grab ya’.  You didn’t wanna peek your head out from under the covers lest you actually catch a glimpse of it.  You did everything possible to avoid it at all costs.  You tried to pretend it didn’t exist but it was all you thought about every second of every night.

I’m a firm believer that as adults we STILL have monsters under our beds.  Instead of the boogie man though, (or that pile of C.R.A.P. that’s been gathering dust and Lord only knows what else under there for months) they’re the things that derail us.  That bring us down.  The things in life that stalk us, that linger in the background just waiting for the right time to sneak up and completely knock us side-ways.

I’m also a firm believer that a lot of us still prefer not to face our monster head on.  We’d rather push it to the back of our mind and pretend it’s not a big deal instead of calling it out, demanding a once and for all show-down.

That’s the problem though.

If we never address it, if we never truly acknowledge our monster- make friends with it as Mr. Mathers suggests- then we’re never gonna  have a chance at conquering it or at least exercising some sort of control over it.

Think about it for a second.

Your home is perpetually messy.  Never neat.  Never NOT embarrassing.

Instead of blaming it on some personality quirk or deep-seated deficiency in your character, maybe it’s just your monster.  The one that you’ve chosen to pretend doesn’t exist while it continues to haunt you night and day.

Is your monster shopping?  You buy office supplies like an addict buys crack  You have more clothes with the tags still on than Macy’s.  Hobby Lobby comes to your house to shop for craft supplies.

Your monster might be perfection.  You refuse to do anything unless you can do it exactly the way you’ve always dreamed it would be.  After all, you’re not one to half-ass something!  It makes no sense to clean up your kitchen until you can get those new cabinets installed!

Is your monster ignorance?  You honestly just have no effing clue what to do to fix the situation.  It’s pretty much like someone plopped a human brain down in front of you and told ya’ to get busy fixin’ it.

The biggest monster I struggle with is the s-word.  You know, four letters, starts with -s, rhymes with plop.  It’s the first example up there.

I love for my space to be minimal and streamlined.  Still cute and fun but not…busy.  Seriously, I have this dream that one day I’ll be able to move and fit everything that’s not furniture in my car in ONE trip.

The problem is my stupid monster!  If I give it an inch it takes a mile.

I can’t just run into Target and get printer paper and be done.  The next thing I know I’m in TJ Maxx looking at baskets and then I’m at The Container Store buying new Stockholm boxes.  I hit Staples on the way home to stock up on Post It Notes (I blame my business coach for this, MBF!) and then swing by Target one more time for good measure.  To pick up some super cute throw pillows that match NOTHING in my home.

See, if I could just shop in isolated instances…   But once I get going? WOW.  If I’m not careful my bank account will be empty and my house will be crammed full of cute shit I don’t need.  Cute shit that’s gonna frustrate the hell outta me BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE CLUTTER!

So what do I do?

Well, I face my monster head on.  When I feel it start to take over my better judgement (in a completely Teen Wolf-esque kinda way) I have to talk myself down.  I say “Monster, you’re not gonna screw me over again” and I start asking myself the following questions:

1.  Why am I shopping?  Am I bored?  Am I being impulsive?  Do I legitimately need something?

2.  What am I willing to get rid of in order to purchase something new?

3.  Am I willing to defend my purchase to my husband?  (He’s the saver.  I’m the spender.)

Then I run as far from Target/Hobby Lobby/Staples/Etsy/Ebay as I can! (You know, on good days.  90% of the time.  I still have my moments!) I’ve actually left a basket full of random goodness just sitting in an aisle because I knew if I didn’t get the hell outta there ASAP there was gonna be trouble!

Having a monster isn’t a weakness.  Anyone who tells you they don’t is either lyin’ or in some SERIOUS denial.  We’ve just go to be willing to acknowledge that monster and, when we need it, ask for a little help in its management.

And remember, Mr. Mathers IS a wise man.

Being friends with it is the best way to keep that bitch in line!

monster