“…Knowing you can always count on me, for sure.  That’s what friends are for.  For good times and bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more.  That’s what friends are for…”

Now I don’t wanna offend anybody but if you don’t know this song then…well…you’ve been living under a rock.  I mean, come on.  Rod Stewart?  Dionne Warwick?  Annie and Helen from Bridesmaids?

Isn’t it funny when you think about songs about friends?  You’ve got this one that’s completely touchy-feely.  The absolute BEST version of friendship.  Then you’ve got “Friends in Low Places”-another one I hope you all know-that’s accurate for ALL of us even if we don’t want to admit it.  THEN you’ve got my all time favorite- “Friends” by Jody Watley.   Not only is it a kick ass song about getting screwed over by your “friends” but it’s also one of the first songs to feature a rapper AND a singer.  Eric B and Rakim for you old school rap fans out there.    It goes a little something like this-

“Have you ever been stabbed in the back
By someone you thought was really cool
Did they steal your heart or was it money
Or was it lies they told
Strangers just disguised as your friends
Never again ’cause now you know

That friends will let you down
Friends won’t be around
When you need them most.
Where are your friend

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I’m talkin’ ’bout your friends…”

Yeah, I think I was in junior high or thereabouts when that came out so girls were stabbin’ each other in the back like it was their job! Remember those days?  One day you were on top of the world. You and your bestie were flyin’ high.  Takin’ on the world together!  Partners in crime.  The next thing you know you have a disagreement about which New Kid on the Block is the hottest and all you hear is the echo of the phone being slammed down in your ear.  Or heaven forbid if you talked to someone else in homeroom when you’d already planned to browse the newest copy of YM together. And good grief, the shit would HIT.THE.FAN. if your crush started paying a little too much attention to your bff.  Two words- girl. wars.

Keeping all that in mind, I want you to think about that last blog I posted.  The one about being friends with- ie knowing- your monster.

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS YOUR MONSTER?  Why would you wanna spend time with it?  Hang out with it?  Scoot over and invite it to sit on the couch next to ya’?  Obviously “real” friends can be dicey enough but now the monster?

Well, as that post eloquently explained, you’ve gotta know it to defeat it. Sticking your head in the sand just ain’t gonna cut it these days.  You gotta keep your friends close and your monster closer because you can bet your sweet ass you can count on your monster at least as much as you can count on your friends.  Your friends might forget to call you back or leave you hanging when you really need ’em, but your monster? Your monster’s gonna BE.THERE.  All the time.  And if you don’t want it to stick its foot out to trip you down the stairs then you better keep an eye on it.

It’s THAT powerful.

After that post went live, I started thinking about something though. What if you really don’t know what your monster is?  I mean, how do you figure it out?

It’s not necessarily an easy task.  It involves A.LOT. of  brutal honesty, self-reflection, and diligence because it’s easier to just throw your hands up and say I DON’T CARE than it is to look at the parts of ourselves we may not be super proud of.  But let’s say you wanna give it a shot on your own.  After all, you really have no clue why your home and/or life looks and feels like the aftermath of World War III on a regular basis and you’re tired of it. You’re ready to figure out just whose foot you’ve fallen over time and time again.

Well, I’ve come up with a short list that should help you start to figure it out.   It’s not the end all, be all of monster possibilities but it’ll get your mind moving in the right direction.  And at the very least you should be able to figure out a few things that AREN’T your monster!

So, if you’re up for it, just click on the icon below!  And remember, all you’ve gotta do is email me if you have questions/concerns/breakdowns or need help talking it out! After all, that monster’s a wily SOB.

monster worksheet